Here we are, 38weeks pregnant, or is 478 weeks pregnant? I can’t tell. I’m in this weird limbo of realising I’m going to miss being pregnant whilst also wanting to meet this little parasite of mine. I also feel like I will never be ready after writing a long list of things that I want to accomplish before baby is born. You know, clean out the pantry, make meals and freeze them, pack hospital bag…all these things I want to achieve but lets be honest, who can be fucked? I’m tired. I’m tired all the time. If I manage to get up and go out to meet a girlfriend for lunch, then I feel I’ve accomplished something that day. The couch is my best friend, so is chocolate mousse & juice. I’d love to say that my body is starting to get fluid retention but if I’m being honest I think its just the copious amounts of hot cross buns I’ve been digesting.
Speaking of food & drinks…if someone would have asked me 12months ago what my favourite drink was I would have said a Passionfruit Mojito…if you asked me now I would say Peppermint Gaviscon. Heartburn is real ladies, it is real and (possibly although probably not) deadly. I also reminisce about all those years I used to be able to walk and not waddle. And how about a night where you actually sleep through? Oh what a novelty that would be. Right now I tend to wake up fully alert at 2am & around 4am. Good times. I also haven’t seen my vagina without the help of a mirror in god knows how long. The only reason I know its still there is because I have to wipe it 4,627 times a day – this is the approximate amount of times I need to pee.
I haven’t gotten any new stretch marks from pregnancy yet, I keep checking every night, knowing that at one point or another they will come. I am trying to prepare myself for them…my breasts have also begun to do their job; I’m expressing colostrum! Woo! I’m still shocked every time I see my boobs at work, I mean, before pregnancy when I was around 16/17 I would really only use them to help me get into clubs & get free drinks…its nice to see they are being used to their full potential.
Trying to turn from one side to the other when I’m lying down feels like I need a forklift. Not to mention, I have to rearrange my pillow fort & when your husband is 6”4 & your sharing a Queen sized bed with him & a 50kg German Shepherd it’s like a not so fun game of tetras trying to squeeze everything in.
There is also a possibility that if you are around me & you get a faint whiff of fart it has come from me. I say “possibility” when I should say “high probability” because gas is just part of my life now whether it comes from one end or the other.
Breathing deeply is also a luxury non-pregnant people take for granted. Additionally, being able to walk up maybe 4 stairs without being out of breath…I have no idea where my stomach & other organs are now that I am housing a baby that this week is roughly the size of a Pumpkin…
My husband also said that I have been quite “snappy” lately. That’s the word he used – SNAPPY. I looked at him and said “and why do you think that is?” he replied “I don’t know.” Lets see shall we? It couldn’t possibility be because I’ve been housing and bringing life to our newborn child for nearly 10months now which has meant my lifestyle, job, fitness, body & hormones have all changed & after our latest scan our babies head is now measuring in the 90th Percentile which I will have to try to push out of my vagina…he took back what he said & vacuumed the whole house. He also made dinner & let me watch a show on TV I know he hates without comment. I have decided to stay with him.
All this & more & you know what? I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Pregnancy is hard. Pregnancy is fucking hard but its also a goddamn miracle. From the moment I saw that second faint pink line to now my body has been growing a human. Like – an actual human! Not to mention one that is half of me & half of my husband. I know I point out the realities of pregnancy BUT I also know how incredibly lucky I am to be where I am. To be able to do this, to be able to carry a child, to be able to even be part of making one. Every time this baby moves, although sometimes its extremely painful & it loves to play on a nerve that gives me a shock from my bum hole to my belly button, I am reminded of how incredible this whole journey is. I know you other Mumma’s can relate! All in all, I can’t wait to meet this little soul, big head and everything.
The Peninsula Mumma xo