“Patience is a virtue,” they say. I don’t know how many other virtues there are but I can tell you right now that I don’t have that one. I’m 41weeks pregnant…nearly 42 actually, my “due date” has been AND it has gone. I am tired, exhausted, frustrated & exasperated. I want to meet my child. I want to graduate from being an incubator to a cow. I want that first cuddle, goddamn it I want that first fucking ridiculously painful contraction! Time is running at the same speed it does in a PT session – you know where you watch the clock count down in the gym but for some reason a minute seems to go on for like an hour? Yeah, well, it feels like that.
My waddling has peaked…it feels like I’m walking around with a bowling ball between my legs. My husband can’t even walk beside me anymore because he can’t actually walk that slow…I kid you not if there was a race between myself and a dead turtle, the dead turtle would win.
Even my pregnancy App has given up on me. It says to me everyday “DON’T FORGET TO REPORT YOUR BIRTH!” like yeah OVIA thanks for the reminder. Did you also know that from 40 to 41 weeks you don’t even get new fruit to choose from!? My baby was the size of a “Fresh Watermelon” last week & it is STILL the size of a “Fresh Watermelon.” I just think that’s mean OVIA, very, very mean! Although to be fair what fruit or vegetable is bigger than a watermelon…?
I’ve also started to retain a lot of fluid, not in my bladder because I empty that at least 74 times an hour. I’ve had to take off my engagement & wedding rings in the afternoons because my fingers now resemble beef sausages.
When someone starts a sentence with “have you tried…” I immediately just say yes. Yes I’ve tried the spicy food, the essential oils, bouncing on a ball, sex (which in all honesty was awkward for the both of us), nipple stimulation, acupuncture, talking to baby calmly, talking to baby sternly, meditation, stretch and sweeps (performed by the midwife guys – I didn’t try that at home!), labor elixirs from the health food store, pineapple…the list goes on! My realization came in the form of tears. I sat on the couch the other day, had a cry and surrendered to the process, knowing that when the time was right, when it was meant to be, we would get to meet our baby.
I do love all the messages though. All the people wishing me well & asking if baby has arrived yet. It is nice to know others are thinking of me. I just can’t wait to be able to give them an interesting update rather then “nope, still baking over here!”
I am also immensely proud of my body. It’s done a pretty phenomenal job. It allowed me to continue exercising up until around the 35wk mark, oh and you know, it grew a human. I think that’s pretty special. Actually – I KNOW that’s pretty fucking special.
I’m going to look back and miss being pregnant. The connection between baby and I, feeling baby move, watching my bump grow, being proud of my body & not just criticizing it all the time…I can honestly say I’ve never felt more self confident in my life then whilst I’ve been pregnant. It’s taught me so much. It has all been worth it – those first cuddles are now really just days away…and I can’t fucking wait.
Love, The Peninsula Mumma xo